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Real Self-Worth & Boundaries, No Over-Giving & Money Spent More Steadily

Why Doing Too Much for Money Often Leads to Earning Too Little

Many women don’t struggle with money because they don’t care about their life style.
 They struggle because they care too much.

They give time even when tired.
 They give energy to everyone.
 They give emotional labour – putting everything they have into it.
 They give support — often when they are the ones who need it most.

They work late without pay.
 They offer free help often after hearing; “just this once. Sort me out. I’ll get you more customers!”
 They undercharge, over-deliver, and tell themselves it’s fine i’ll charge more next time.

And when help is offered to those who struggle?
 They decline it.
 Or feel uncomfortable receiving it.

This isn’t a flaw in your efforts.
It’s a pattern — and it runs deep. Dive deeper, break the pattern, and build read more – ‘You Are a Badass at Making Money Jen Sincero Self Help Book for Personal Finance and Motivation’ and this was actually only £3.95 – budget copy I found recently!

The Hidden Cost of Being “Good With Money”

Ok so to give you my story, the women in my family were always the ones who made sure everything was okay.

They shouldered all money stress.
 They always plan carefully.
 They worried quietly.
 They were praised for being “good with money.”

But here’s the part no one talks about:

They were good at managing money — not creating it because of being to careful of others needs and never her own.

Then there is ‘managing’, which assumes lack. Tip – Planning ahead to spend on ‘you’ stops you from feeling that you are living on a deficit (just managing).
A mindset of ‘Just managing’ focuses on deficit, survival, control, and not letting things fall apart at all costs.

That kind of money mindset asks:

  • How can I make this stretch?
  • What can I cut back on?
  • How will I cope with this?

It rarely asks:

  • How do I expand?
  • What else is possible?
  • What would abundance / money actually look like here?

Being good at managing money kept things afloat — but it didn’t build ease.
 It didn’t build safety in the body.
 And it certainly didn’t build more.

This pattern gets passed down quietly, especially to women , and generationally. This is why you have to change this with doable self-help goals with book – ‘You Are a Badass at Making Money Jen Sincero Self Help Book for Personal Finance and Motivation‘.

(This post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission — at no extra cost to you. I only recommend brands I genuinely love.)

The Responsible Woman Pattern

If you’ve always been “the reliable one,” you may have learned early:

  • Don’t ask for anything
  • Don’t inconvenience others
  • Don’t take too much from anyone
  • Handle it yourself, even when you are exhausted.

You learned that responsibility equals worth.

And this shows up with money as:

  • Under-charging
  • Over-explaining prices
  • Justifying your value
  • Feeling guilty receiving help
  • Saying yes when you’re already stretched thin

On the outside, you look capable – you’ve practiced this.
 On the inside, you’re exhausted, always.

Over time, resentment creeps in especially with those whom you have told ‘don’t worry’, who you promise to look after, who have stopped worrying as result.

You feel irritated with people.
 You feel unseen.
 You feel like no one gets it.

Not because you’re doing something wrong —
 but because you haven’t set boundaries.

Why Over-Giving Shrinks Income

Money is not just numbers.
 It’s energy, safety, and nervous system patterns.

When you constantly give without receiving:

  • Your energy drains
  • Your confidence erodes
  • Your work quality drops, as your energy does
  • Your income plateaus

You start to associate earning with effort, sacrifice, and pressure, lots of it.

So even when opportunities appear, your body resists them.

Because somewhere deep down, money feels heavy — not supportive any more because you’re on survival mode.

This is why many hardworking women earn less than they should.

Not because they lack skill.
 But because they’ve been taught to cope, not expand, not think to bigger.

Boundaries Are Not Unkind

A boundary is not punishment.
It’s not rejection.
It’s a clear line that protects your energy.

Boundaries with money sound like:

  • “That doesn’t work for me.” “Let me come back to you.”
  • “I need time to think about that.” “I’ll check my email tomorrow.”
  • “I can’t commit to that right now.” “I have to complete the work I’ve started first.”
  • “I don’t lend money.” “I have already allocated this.”

These are not harsh statements.
 They are honest ones.

And honesty builds trust — with others and with yourself.

If someone doesn’t understand your boundary, you don’t need to justify it.

You’re stressed.
 Something needs to change.
 That is reason enough.

Why Boundaries Protect Income and Wellbeing

When you don’t protect your time and energy:

  • You burn out and therefore have no energy to help anyone else
  • You rush decisions and then make mistakes
  • You resent your work and feel more stressed
  • You disconnect from your value and turn to other short quick fix shopping, gambling or other just to feel good for a few minutes

Boundaries allow you to:

  • Charge fairly
  • Work sustainably
  • Understand that you are being rewarded when receiving money
  • Stop equating effort (over exertion) with worth

This isn’t selfish.

It’s stewardship.
 It’s self-respect.

And it’s how income becomes stable — not stressful.

Managing vs Creating: The Shift That Changes Everything

Many women were raised to manage money responsibly —
 but not to want more than what is needed to pay to exist (bill payment).

Managing money asks:
 “How do I not mess this up?”

Creating money asks:
“What kind of life am I building?”

One comes from fear.
 The other comes from possibility.

When you stay stuck in management mode, money always feels tight — even when there’s enough.

When you shift into creation, money becomes a tool, not a threat.

This is where the nervous system matters.

A regulated nervous system allows you to:

  • Make clearer decisions as your head is relaxed and clear
  • Take aligned risks as your thinking is not stress based, you are thinking with a clear head
  • Feel calm as you receive, without guilt – this is not ed to feel strange
  • Think long-term as you are not thinking with a survival mentality – not thinking ‘on edge’ and in stress

Calm first.
 Numbers second.

Relearning Worth (Without Proving Anything)

Your worth is not proven by how much you give up.

You don’t need to suffer to deserve stability.
 You don’t need to struggle to earn the right to rest.
 You don’t need to exhaust yourself to justify making an income.

Money flows more easily when self-worth leads the conversation.

And money flows both ways when you:

  • Accept help
  • Allow support – as you understanding that this actually saves your energy
  • Receive reward without apology, while you know your value

This is not about becoming careless or reckless.

It’s about moving from survival to intention (i.e. strategically).

A New Legacy for Women and Money

The women before us were strong.
 They carried a lot.
 They did what they knew how to do.

But strength doesn’t have to mean constant pressure.

It’s time to shift the story from:
 “I’ll handle it”
 to:
 “I get to be supported too.”

From:
 “Let’s make this work”
 to:
 “What would thriving look like?”

Money didn’t create anything new.
 It simply magnifies what you’re already doing. This literally brings a new life.

So design the life first —
then let wealth multiply it. That’s how money becomes lighter.
That’s how earning grows. Read more – ‘You Are a Badass at Making Money Jen Sincero Self Help Book for Personal Finance and Motivation‘.
And that’s how the responsible woman finally gets to rest — and rise.

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