When Money Is Stress, Not Necessarily Because Lack of Money
Healing Your Relationship With Money (and Why It Changes Everything)
10 Minute read – Discusses: money mindset, stress management, self-worth, boundaries, calm, rich life, wellness aesthetic, conscious wealth
A couple of weeks ago, I struck up a conversation with a woman who I later realised was a housing investor.
I wasn’t prepared for how much that conversation would shift my thinking — not just about money, but about why I want it.
Early on, she casually mentioned she was a Christian. That surprised me — not because faith and finance can’t coexist, but because finances are rarely discussed through a lens of ethics, stewardship, and calm responsibility. Usually it’s framed as hustle, fear, pressure, or growth-at-all-costs.
I grew up hearing “money is the root of all evil”, while also coming from generations of women who gave endlessly — to family, community, and everyone else — often before themselves.
I’ve always been practically good with money. I can budget, juggle, and make things work. Many women can.
And yet… it has almost always felt like stress.
Not lack.
Not chaos.
Just a constant, low-level pressure.
That realisation changed everything.
I admitted something honestly for the first time: I want more — for myself and for the people I support.
And I finally understood that I can have more without guilt.
When You’re Good With Money — But It Still Feels Heavy
Many women will recognise this:
- You pay your bills
- You’re responsible
- You plan ahead
- You rarely spend on yourself
- You may even turn down growth opportunities because you’re used to “making do” – this is a ‘Broke Mindset’ that needs to be shifted.
And still, finance feels like a stress point — because mindset hasn’t shifted.
That’s when the real question appears:
If money isn’t the problem… what is?
For me, the answer wasn’t income.
It was my relationship with it.
That relationship is shaped by:
- Self-worth
- Confidence
- Boundaries
- Nervous system regulation
- Inherited beliefs we never consciously chose
These quietly govern nearly every financial decision we make.
The Hidden Cost of Being “The Responsible One”
When you grow up around giving — especially emotional or financial giving — you often learn:
- My needs can wait
- I should cope
- I shouldn’t ask for more
- I’ll manage somehow
This creates women who are deeply capable, but chronically tense.
Money becomes something to manage, not enjoy.
Something to survive, not grow with.
Over time, stress becomes normal.
What I Changed (Before Anything Changed Financially With My Money)
During a particularly stressful season around money, I stopped trying to “fix” my finances.
Instead, I focused on fixing what money stress was doing to me.
I worked on three things deliberately:
Self-care that regulated my nervous system
More rest, slower mornings, fewer draining conversations, stronger boundaries.
Boundaries that protected my energy
I stopped over-explaining, over-giving, and carrying other people’s financial stress.
Confidence through the environment
I spent time with people who spoke calmly about finances and didn’t glorify struggle.
The result?
I felt different before my bank balance did.
That’s where real change begins.
The Conversation On Money That Shifted My Motivation
That investor spoke about rich life not as a goal — but as a tool with responsibility.
Then she quoted:
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” — Proverbs 13:22
For the first time, it all stopped feeling like pressure and started feeling like purpose.
Not ego.
Not survival.
Not guilt.
Just stewardship
Consciousness Governs Wealth
When stress governs your choices:
- You rush
- You undercharge
- You avoid money decisions
When calm governs your choices:
- You plan clearly
- You spend money intentionally
- You receive without guilt
- You build sustainably
Wealth without wellbeing eventually collapses.
A Simple, Calm Framework to Heal Your Money Relationship
This isn’t theory — it’s practical.
- Regulate before you calculate
- Separate stress from numbers
- Redefine what wealth is for
- Create boundaries that protect income
- Build with stewardship, not fear
These steps changed how I experience money — not just how much I have.
Final Thought
Money doesn’t need to be your stress.
I’ve learned this the hard way: when self-worth, boundaries, rest, and purpose lead, riches follow with far less resistance.
Legacy isn’t built in panic.
It’s built on calm, conscious decisions — repeated over time.
And that is the foundation of a rich life.